"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Drake has all the answers
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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