I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
