I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
