I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
