His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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