I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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