WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
