I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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