were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
