i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
