You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
