i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
