he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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