I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
