Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
