The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I don't think brook has ever known best
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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