i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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