I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
