there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
