Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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