I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize