her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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