She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
