yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
