I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
