love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We are all done wearing pants today
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
