Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
