I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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