I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
