sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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