just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize