The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
