my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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