so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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