Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
