I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He? As in you personified your dick?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
