yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
