this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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