he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
