every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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