He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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