We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
