you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Porn is love you can see.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
