If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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