Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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