New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
