Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
