I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
