im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
