Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
