ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
