She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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