dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize