They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
