Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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