just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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