just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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