I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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