god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
